Wow, now I feel ready. I thought I was "ready" to travel to get Lucy Linh much before. But today, I realized that yes -- now my heart is truly ready. Not an anxious ready, not a frustrated ready, not a fix-something-wrong-in-my-life-as-it-is ready. But READY. My heart feels soft and open. My heart feels accepting and my heart feels full of intention to really see others just as they are; not as I want them to be. I want to know my children.
I have to admit, I have worried some over how I would feel about an adopted child after experiencing such a strong connection to a biological child. Many would say that my older daughter and I are like "two peas in a pod." And we should be -- our life circumstances have required and allowed us a great deal of time together; just the two of us. Our connection is extremely strong and I am very grateful to be connected so strongly to such a caring and thoughtful (and fun :-)) little soul.
Will I have that with Lucy Linh? I do not know. What I do know is that my heart is full of loving intention. I want to love her with all the love I have to give her and the others I hold close to my heart. I want to see her for who she is, seek to understand her without judgement, allow her soul to grow into the being it is to become, be a safe "space" for her when life sends her waves, experience the gift of life with her and share many goofy laughs together. I want all of this with all of those I love.
My heart is now ready for this and before, I am not sure it was. Thank goodness for paperwork snafus. Thank goodness someone else/something else is in control of my life. Thank goodness I am learning to ride the waves of life.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Brief update
An update from my agency -- the paperwork has been fixed and refiled. So, now we are waiting for the official Giving and Recieving ceremony to be scheduled. They are hopeful that it will be sometime around January 14. Annie Allen, my mom, sister (maybe) and I will try to leave a week or so before this is scheduled to explore Hong Kong for a few days (and get over jet lag) and arrive in HCMC, VN a day or so before the scheduled G&R. Sean will stay here, try to get ahead at work, get all the last minute stuff done at home and rest up so that when we return, he can hopefully take some time off of work and help us get some sleep :-).
Lucy Linh...we are one step closer!
Lucy Linh...we are one step closer!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
My cup runneth over!
My grandmother used to say that all the time and I remember one time specificaly -- I was a young girl and was sitting in her den with her; we were doing our nails which we often did during our visits. She said, "Oh me, my cup runneth over..." and I asked what she meant by that. She said, one day, you will know -- it is gratitude for the fullness of life.
Gaga, now I do know...my cup runneth over! I am so full of love for many beings right now and Lucy Linh being one! It is strange to feel emotion like this for someone I have never officially met or know much of anything about. My heart feels ready and open for loving her. I am peacefully waiting.
...and in the meantime, my family of two has simultaneously grown! Sean and I got engaged earlier this week. We have known we wanted to share a long life together for a while so we are very happy to be at this place. Thank goodness for his calm, fun and positive demeanor -- it will be much needed for navigating life with 3 six year olds and 1 baby -- all girls! Oh...Life is Good!
Gaga, now I do know...my cup runneth over! I am so full of love for many beings right now and Lucy Linh being one! It is strange to feel emotion like this for someone I have never officially met or know much of anything about. My heart feels ready and open for loving her. I am peacefully waiting.
...and in the meantime, my family of two has simultaneously grown! Sean and I got engaged earlier this week. We have known we wanted to share a long life together for a while so we are very happy to be at this place. Thank goodness for his calm, fun and positive demeanor -- it will be much needed for navigating life with 3 six year olds and 1 baby -- all girls! Oh...Life is Good!
Monday, November 17, 2008
A Wild Ride!
The adoption journey has been quite a ride! I know it will end at some point and I will forget the ups and downs when we get Lucy Linh in our arms...until then continuing to cultivate patience and trust. I do trust that we will meet her just when we are supposed to meet her -- our hearts, our energy and our perspective will be just like it is supposed to be when Lucy Linh officially enters our lives.
Although we got our I600 approval last week (which means we got the OK from US to go and return with an adopted child), a few days later a minor paperwork discrepency was found while trying to schedule the Giving and Receiving ceremony (where Viet Nam officially turns her over to us). So now we need to wait for that to go through the proper channels and get resolved. Hopefully we will get to travel in 4-6 weeks.
We finished her room and have our bags packed so when the Giving and Receiving Ceremony is all set, we can go! My mom and sister have been so patient with the trip delay and in general, I have felt such love and support throughout this process by so many. I am very, very lucky.
Although we got our I600 approval last week (which means we got the OK from US to go and return with an adopted child), a few days later a minor paperwork discrepency was found while trying to schedule the Giving and Receiving ceremony (where Viet Nam officially turns her over to us). So now we need to wait for that to go through the proper channels and get resolved. Hopefully we will get to travel in 4-6 weeks.
We finished her room and have our bags packed so when the Giving and Receiving Ceremony is all set, we can go! My mom and sister have been so patient with the trip delay and in general, I have felt such love and support throughout this process by so many. I am very, very lucky.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
We trusted, waited patiently and...
Now we have little “Lucy Lihn Beard” waiting for us in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam! We got our referral this week and we are so very happy. She is 4 months old; born April 2, 2008.
I am still swimming with emotions and feel so incredibly blessed; I could not believe how quickly I felt love for her – it was as if my heart burst open and a pipeline of love and care went from my heart to the orphanage when I opened her pictures. Annie Allen’s response to the news was very dear and she is one proud big sister already! We are at the beach and soaking in the incredible nature of life and the gift of love and we will return this weekend to start figuring out how we are going to balance all of this :-)…and according to Annie Allen figure out how to give her a better hair style!
At this point we still have some waiting to do…we wait for our travel approval (2-6 months wait right now) and then we can travel soon thereafter to get Lucy.
Again, thank you all for your continued quiet and open encouragement and love. I would not have had the courage to do this without you behind me.
Please send lots of love to Lucy Lihn in HCMC until we can love her in person.
I am still swimming with emotions and feel so incredibly blessed; I could not believe how quickly I felt love for her – it was as if my heart burst open and a pipeline of love and care went from my heart to the orphanage when I opened her pictures. Annie Allen’s response to the news was very dear and she is one proud big sister already! We are at the beach and soaking in the incredible nature of life and the gift of love and we will return this weekend to start figuring out how we are going to balance all of this :-)…and according to Annie Allen figure out how to give her a better hair style!
At this point we still have some waiting to do…we wait for our travel approval (2-6 months wait right now) and then we can travel soon thereafter to get Lucy.
Again, thank you all for your continued quiet and open encouragement and love. I would not have had the courage to do this without you behind me.
Please send lots of love to Lucy Lihn in HCMC until we can love her in person.
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