Readiness of the Heart

Wow, now I feel ready. I thought I was "ready" to travel to get Lucy Linh much before. But today, I realized that yes -- now my heart is truly ready. Not an anxious ready, not a frustrated ready, not a fix-something-wrong-in-my-life-as-it-is ready. But READY. My heart feels soft and open. My heart feels accepting and my heart feels full of intention to really see others just as they are; not as I want them to be. I want to know my children.

I have to admit, I have worried some over how I would feel about an adopted child after experiencing such a strong connection to a biological child. Many would say that my older daughter and I are like "two peas in a pod." And we should be -- our life circumstances have required and allowed us a great deal of time together; just the two of us. Our connection is extremely strong and I am very grateful to be connected so strongly to such a caring and thoughtful (and fun :-)) little soul.

Will I have that with Lucy Linh? I do not know. What I do know is that my heart is full of loving intention. I want to love her with all the love I have to give her and the others I hold close to my heart. I want to see her for who she is, seek to understand her without judgement, allow her soul to grow into the being it is to become, be a safe "space" for her when life sends her waves, experience the gift of life with her and share many goofy laughs together. I want all of this with all of those I love.

My heart is now ready for this and before, I am not sure it was. Thank goodness for paperwork snafus. Thank goodness someone else/something else is in control of my life. Thank goodness I am learning to ride the waves of life.

Brief update

An update from my agency -- the paperwork has been fixed and refiled. So, now we are waiting for the official Giving and Recieving ceremony to be scheduled. They are hopeful that it will be sometime around January 14. Annie Allen, my mom, sister (maybe) and I will try to leave a week or so before this is scheduled to explore Hong Kong for a few days (and get over jet lag) and arrive in HCMC, VN a day or so before the scheduled G&R. Sean will stay here, try to get ahead at work, get all the last minute stuff done at home and rest up so that when we return, he can hopefully take some time off of work and help us get some sleep :-).

Lucy Linh...we are one step closer!